Beattie interview + rival bid for Kaka?

Our new signing Beattie has arrived at the Britannia, and though it’s nothing rivalling Beatlemania America; it certainly is a cause for renewed optimism. The promise of a new goal source will raise spirits not only for the squad, but for the fans, who have unswervingly remained loyal to the cause at our lowest hour.

Here’s what the man himself had to say:

“I’ve been brought up to score goals. The gaffer has been great with me, outlining what he wants me to do and what my role will be within the team. I’m definitely ready to give the Premier League another crack and I’m delighted with the opportunity. Stoke City have given me that and hopefully I can show the fans what I can do straight away.”

‘Straight away’ is a vital part of his intentions. For the last few weeks, we have managed to create some clear chances. These against the likes of Liverpool and Man Utd, where they don’t come along too often. We have Chelsea up next, and if we are to fight hard for chances, it is only fitting that we have a man up front who can see to it that we can convert them.

“Hopefully I can help the club stay up, it’s what I’ve come here to do. If the club didn’t have high expectations of staying up I wouldn’t have signed. I’m lucky enough to know a few of the lads already, and I’m assured that I’ll enjoy my time here. Hopefully I can contribute to the dressing room. We know the situation the club is in and I’m prepared to role my sleeves up and fight like every one else.”

It is gratifying to know that he can contribute to the dressing room. It is a group effort to install the new shower system, and those poor builders obviously need a helping hand. I will be looking forward to seeing him also with his sleeves rolled up. obviously he won’t be able to fight like Abdoulaye Faye obviously, but it is nice to know he’s making an effort.

beatstonge

As you can see, Beattie is already acquainted with Michael Tonge. And as you can see, he will be wearing number 20. Hopefully he will get us that many goals this season. I still don’t know what it is that our players wear on their necks, it resembles one of those things priests wear… only sponsored by a major sporting brand.

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Isn’t it just so nice to see a player sign for a club wearing something as mundane as this?  It’s so common for footballers to arrive as if about to attend a 50 Cent concert afterwards. I mean – we’re not going to look at them on the pitch and think, ‘oh he’s a real gangsta.’ We’re instead more likely to make judgements on them based on their footballing ability. If a player likes the idea of parading around with prostitutes slung over their shoulder, then why don’t they just become a truck driver! People like that shouldn’t stand for real football. James Beattie doesn’t wear this nonsense, therefore he is a proper footballer in my books.

In other news, we are to rival Man City’s record breaking bid for Kaka. This is not a story primarily intended to mask my crazy obsession with the Beattie transfer in anyway. Nor is it a ploy to attract attention to this blog. If you don’t believe me, then go and ask him yourself.

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